UGH! I just want it to be Sunday!):
A year ago,

It amazes how almost a year ago I was bawling my eyes out because the guy I thought was the love of my life cheated on me and broke my heart. A year ago, I went to my best friends house and drank till I passed out. A year ago, I believed I could never be happy again. A year ago, my whole world flipped upside down. I was angry, sad, scared, lost, broken. I didn’t know what to do with myself, I doubted everything I did. A year ago, I stopped believing in love. A year ago, I was just a person who walked around feeling nothing because the one person I trusted with my whole heart betrayed me. A year ago, if you told me I would fall in love with my best friend and feel happy again..I would laugh in your face. But here I am, a year later..happier than I’ve been in a very long time. Here I am working two jobs I love, working hard for my college degree, and so absolutely in love with my best friend and falling more in love with him each day. Here i am, crying because I’m happy with who I am and where I plan to go. I have goals for my future and I plan to reach them. I’m hopeful for whatever comes my way and I feel I can conquer anything. It’s amazing what a simple year can change. (:

Sorry for the huge rant, but I think about this a lot. Should education be one size fits all? I have straight A’s because I know exactly what each of my college professors wants to see. Something worth being proud of right? But something is missing. This method of “teaching” leaves no room for creative interpretation, critical analysis, GROWTH. It makes me wonder how many brilliant young people have the potential to contribute something more to the world, but aren’t allowed. How many inventive minds are confined to this mold of “educational excellence” which says that every question has but ONE correct answer, deemed fit by the curriculum and teacher? We are but chess pieces in their systematic structure of formal education. So now I must ask, how can this cookie-cutter educational system apply for everyone, even the advanced, innovative, or visionary thinkers? Suppression of imagination and individual thinking is NOT conducive to intellectual evolution. Who knows, maybe that’s exactly what they want. Maybe it’s a way to control and regulate. If that be the case, maybe college is the wrong path for me. I guess I have more thinking to do. In the meantime, dream on, dreamers

Where will I be in 10 years?

This is the hardest question for me to answer. I have no clue where I think I’ll be in 10 years.If you asked me 10 years ago if I would be studying to be a Criminal Psychologist, the answer would be no. Because 10 years ago, I wanted to be a 3rd grade teacher. 10 years ago, I thought I’d be training for the Olympics. I had no idea I would be out of gymnastics and working 2 jobs and studying a career that never crossed my mind. I don’t have a clue where I will be. I don’t even know what I’ll be doing in 3 days, how will I know what I’m going to be doing in 10 years. I have an ASL assignment tomorrow based on this question and I don’t know how to answer it. I don’t know what to sign in front of the class. I don’t want to be married, I don’t want kids, and I don’t know if I’m going to even be in this state. This is the most stressful assignment I’ve had in awhile..:/

I’ve never felt this way before

I’ve never been so in love with someone before. I want to spend every minute with David, sleep next to him every night, experience everything with him. I can talk to him all day and not get bored, I could spend a week with him and just fall in love even more. Whenever I get the chance to sleep next  to him, I am the happiest I’ve ever been and when I wake up I just want to lay there all day in his arms, I love sleeping next to him, he makes me feel so safe and loved. Sometimes I don’t believe that I was so lucky to have such an amazing person in my life, it’s almost like a dream. No ones ever made me feel like a queen before and I don’t really know how to handle the way I’m feeling..haha


Semper fi!

A Kiss To Remember…

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